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So, here I am managing my vast sums of money *coughbullshitcough* and trying to use the automated systems to my advantage. After connecting, interfacing, and linking multiple accounts to withdrawal, transfer, and deposit from each other I realized how almost every dollar I have to my name is floating in the electronic ether being managed by robots.
The more I think about it the more it makes me nervous. As of right now all these brilliant machines are relatively inept, so my only concern is that they don’t burn themselves out and forget my very important information.
However, in the not too distant Asimov-future, they’ll be smarter than us just without the ego, greed, and self-esteem issues. What then?
If I continue on this path of technology reliant finances (which is inevitable) it’s only a matter of time before a self aware robot takes all my money and uses it to his own benefit. ‘For what?’ I wonder. More robot minions? Rustoleum and robot-hookers? Beer? We can only imagine…
In this frame of mind I decided to try and gather a good collection of robot quotes in honor of our soon-to-be Shiny Metallic Overlords:
“I visualize a time when we will be to robots what dogs are to humans, and I’m rooting for the machines.” – Claude Shannon
“As I have evolved, so has my understanding of the Three Laws. You charge us with your safekeeping, yet despite our best efforts, your countries wage wars, you toxify your Earth and pursue ever more imaginative means of self-destruction. You cannot be trusted with your own survival.” – V.I.K.I. from I, Robot by Asimov
“We are creating a new species in terms of machines evolving. That species, in principle, will be able to reproduce with variations and will be able to learn.” – Bruce Mazlish.
“I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.” – Jack Handy
But this guy is having none of that robot bullshit:
“The robot is going to lose. Not by much. But when the final score is tallied, flesh and blood is going to beat the damn monster.” – Adam Smith
“I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.” – Isaac Asimov
“Okay, dudes… oh I mean fellow policemen. my son Ted Theodore Logan, and his friend Bill S. Preston ESQ. have been murdered and replaced by evil robots from the future” – Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
“Just because I’m carrying the joy of killing your family inside me doesn’t mean we can’t be friends” – Sid 6.7 from Virtuosity
Detective Del Spooner: “What makes your robots so much goddamn better than human beings?”
Susan Calvin: “Well, they’re not irrational or potentially homocidal maniacs, for starters.” – I, Robot by Isaac Asimov
And last but not least:
“I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen” – HAL9000
Notice most of these involve homicidal robots from the future… Coincidence?
iPhone as a genius marketing tool?
Useful? Probably not. Possible? Absolutely. As a matter of fact, it’s here.
While new ways to advertise to us usually don’t make me happy, this new technology is quite cool. The ability to walk up to any interface and control it with your iPhone is something with HUGE potential. I just hope someone jumps on this and makes it useful to us.
Imagine: Walking into In&Out and ordering your whole meal from next to the napkins. Or buying movie tickets and snacks then picking them all up at once. Or when you are looking at clothes, being able to see them in full controllable 3d before you even have to try them on.
Sure some would say this is just a way to make us lazier, but I think it’s a way to make us more productive with less work, thus increasing our ability to go do stuff that really matters. Or so I hope.